I turned 26 a few days ago, what a blessing it is to be living. The days, weeks, and months leading up to my birthday were filled with a lot of self reflection, and a question asked over and over –and over– again. “What do I want to happen next?
There are two things that I want to highlight.
First, notice how that aforementioned question is posed as a choice, a decision to be made (rather than a hope or goal with no plan). I am learning that I have almost complete control over the path than my life can take. I think where we lost the plot. A lot of the time is that making changes for better or for worse is scary.
The scary part being that we are also completely responsible for the consequences of those choices; good, bad, ugly, or indifferent. If you’re thinking, “well duh, Haylie” then good for you, you are more self aware than me and my 26 years! You deserve a gold star sticker. In fact, you don’t even need to keep reading because you already know everything!
I’m being faced with a lot of decisions lately.
Sometimes, remembering that making a lot of these choices is supposed to be fun and not supposed to be anxiety inducing is difficult. Moving is something that I have done a fair amount of in my twenties so far and I have a feeling that I am going to be doing plenty of it before it is all said and done. That is both exciting and stressful.
Second, I have been in for a huge reality check in the last few days. One of those “it just dawns on you” kind of moments. I’ve been looking back on my life and realizing that I may have made some of the wrong choices along the way. I would say that the beauty and the pain of these realizations is that I would have never known if I didn’t try, so how much can i really blame myself. Also, It’s a blessing and a lesson to have had the opportunity to experience it.
If you have read any of my other blog posts
You may know that I made a pretty big move last year because I thought it would be what was best for my partner and I. Almost a year later, I can say it was not everything we hoped for. I am trying not to feel like it’s been a year wasted, because I refuse to buy into the concept of wasted time if you’re doing what you think is best. With that said, it has been discouraging.
When I was younger, let’s say freshly graduated from college, if I thought about where I would be at 26 years old, I can’t say it would be here. I thought I would have done a lot more traveling, and I would have owned a home somewhere, and maybe I would have even been married.
Let’s talk about the steps forward now. What do I want to happen next?
- I want to travel more, my goal is one small trip quarterly and/or one big trip a year.
- I want to move. I am happy with where we are living, but I am not happy with my career. Unfortunately, work is a large part of my life right now, and I refuse to be miserable when I can make a different choice. I am blessed with the option.
- I want to save more money.
- I want to nurture the relationships I’ve formed, and I want to shift my focus away from making new friends. This is not to say that I am not always looking to make new friends, but I feel like I have put so much pressure on myself to make new friends when it just needs to happen organically.
Another thing…
I mentioned my career dissatisfaction and I wanted to expand on this. I love my co-workers. Honestly, I even love my schedule. You know what I don’t love? The hustle. I work in dentistry, and since moving states, the priority of my job has felt like it has shifted away from patient care and moved to making money.
I really don’t mean that maliciously. The doctors I work with are great at what they do, and they care a lot about their patients. With that said, I feel like I am working myself into the ground for a job that does not even offer health insurance, and to still only be able to afford to live a day to day life. There is nothing wrong with the life I live. I am very fortunate to have put myself in the position where I am not worried about finances the way that a lot of people are with our fluctuating economy, but I can’t do all the things that I want with my life, and that means that I need a change.
The rates of burnout associated with dentistry, or really healthcare in general, are astronomically high.
I refuse to join that statistic, especially at 26. I refuse to let my career become my life, especially at 26. Right now, I feel like it is all I have. I’ve already made so many personal sacrifices to be in the position I am in. I would not change those sacrifices for the world, but it is about time I stop feeling like I am making a living more than I am making a life.
As Dolly Parton once said, “Do not get so busy making a living, you forget to make a life.”
Words to live by. I will see yall in the next one.
– Hay
